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| A pickelhaube. Not very relevant, but a blog post has to have some pictures. |
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| Thiers' map of the campaign of April 1809 |
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| A pickelhaube. Not very relevant, but a blog post has to have some pictures. |
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| Thiers' map of the campaign of April 1809 |
(I have David in Suffolk, he of the Ragged Soldier blog, to thank for the excellent title to this post!)
One of the striking things about wargamers compared to other gamers is how many of us like to game solitaire, even when there is no shortage of potential opponents.
Numerous reasons are often given for gaming solo. A game might
be approached as a puzzle to be solved rather than a combat to be modelled, and
this is particularly the case with some of the many designed-for-solitaire
games. The human player is attempting to outwit or outperform an AI whose
behaviours are dictated by the rules. But many wargamers enjoy – in fact, would
prefer - playing two- or multiple- player games solo, including many that on
the face of it look like very poor candidates for solitaire play, typically
because they include ‘fog of war’ features which are supposed to hide
information from one’s opponent; you can’t very easily hide information from
yourself after all.
(That said, I have heard elderly wargamers declare that after
you get past a certain age that fog of war can be easily recreated by making
sure you just leave a few hours between turns so you have forgotten what the
other side had in their hand or printed on their blocks. Senescence can be your
friend.)
But a wargame is to many of us something different from ‘just’
a game or a puzzle. We like to watch the events unfold before our eyes. Playing
a wargame solo can be like writing a story; the narrative becomes key, and the
moments of most interest often revolve around particular characters or units or
subplots that can later be described at length in an engaging after action
report, vivid enough for the reader to smell the gunpowder and hear the shouted
orders.
At these times the presence of an opponent introduces an
unwanted element of tension or pressure, the need to compete as opposed to the
opportunity to observe at leisure. There are few experiences in wargaming, I
find, to beat that pleasure of slowly sipping a glass of good wine over a board
showing a campaign or battle finely poised, and just ruminating over what each
side might do next, and how the situation before you contrasts with that of the
actual conflict, and why that might be so.
I have several designed-for-solitaire games under my belt
these days, and I plan to say something about all of them at some point in this
blog. They are not normally my go-to games; if I am not playing an opponent I
prefer to play a reasonably simple 2-player game as both players, just honestly
trying my best for both sides and savouring my wine when the crisis of the
battle approaches. But sometimes I will acquire a particular game out of
curiosity, and the way in which the AI tries to model an actual opponent is
always a matter of the keenest interest.
So my current game is a rather obscure one called N: The
Napoleonic Wars, and oddly what first attracted me to it was how little it
resembles your average wargame.
It’s quite a light-ish game, 12-pages of rules that are written
with tongue frequently in cheek. Design notes include the following, on various
events in the game that keep Napoleon busy:
Napoleon’s escapade in Egypt took him away from France
for many long and critical months. His later escapades in the boudoir with
Marie Louise, his Habsburg wife, did produce an heir to his throne, but also
initiated him into the dubious joys of growing bald and pudgy and playing with
the toddler while his Empire burned.

Boney busy in Egypt... 
...and in the boudoir. Coo-er, missus.
Or, regarding the presence of the Josephine counter in a
nation where a battle occurs:
The locals are in awe of her beauty, style and her
legendary skills in the boudoir.
This jolly style might start to get irksome in a longer
ruleset or a game that has pretensions to be a serious simulation, but in a light
solitaire of this type it reads fine, and the rules are in fact admirably
clear.
The first surprise to the game is that you, the player, are
not Napoleon. You play his Coalition foes and the aim is to bring the Corsican
Ogre down. This is unusual for a start – everyone always wants to be Napoleon,
right?
The game board itself has a map of Napoleonic Europe in the
background but that is pure decoration. The main feature consists of five appropriately
positioned boxes representing nations where a battle may take place – France,
Germany, Austria, Italy and Spain. Germany (as Prussia), Austria and Spain may
also side with the Coalition and contribute their armies to the anti-French
military alliance. The rest of the board is mostly a number of smaller boxes
that either show information pertinent to the game (nations’ political status,
current religious status of France, current status of Europe’s Jews to name but
a few) or allow wars occurring outside of Europe in places as diverse as Egypt,
Haiti, the Cape of Good Hope and Ireland, to be managed in an abstract way.
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| The board |
The idea is to get Napoleon to abdicate by pushing the Napoleon Abdicate counter up from 0 to 16. The counter is pushed up mostly by winning battles – you have to win 3 battles per turn, which given the number of big beefy French Corps that get deployed each turn is a tall order.
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| Those Coalition armies look awesome... |
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| ...until compared to this cup of bruisers. |
You can
also push the counter up by winning naval battles or key minor wars – the French
hate to lose Haiti for example. Or, you can suffer a sudden defeat if the
French win the Battle of Trafalgar and get to invade Blighty. The full game has
16 turns, running from 1794 until 1821 and if you fail to force Napoleon to
abdicate by that time then the great man dies in his bed in the Tuileries and the
nations of Europe settle down under the benign guidance of his son. Peace
reigns and neither of the world wars ever happens. Hurrah! Oh, sorry, I mean,
boo hiss!
The game is to an extent scripted, there are certain events
that must happen every turn, Boney appearing in 1795 for example, but there is
a lot of unpredictability also, unexpected accidents, variations as to what
French forces are deployed and to where, and a High Politics chit pull mechanic
that means you know there is a chance of a particular political event happening
but no way of knowing exactly when. As might be expected, keeping the coalition
going in the face of likely military defeats requires financial management and
diplomatic success, as well as just plain luck. Getting an idea of the ebb and
flow of the game is impossible without an example, so having played the first six
turns I thought a brief after action report would be instructive and give an
idea of what sort of history the game allows to play out. Here is the narrative
of my game, to the end of 1805.
1792-1794
The First Coalition includes Britain, Austria and Prussia,
with Sweden and Russia neutral.
There is fighting in South Africa which the Coalition wins,
thanks mainly to British naval dominance.
Spain signs the Treaty of San Ildefonso with France and
becomes a French ally.
French diplomats are active in Europe and the Allies find
they have little spare cash for countermeasures.
Fighting occurs in three nations, Italy, Spain, and Germany.
Italy sees a thumping French victory but in Spain and Germany the Coalition are
victorious. The continuation of the Reign of Terror in France sees a slight
shift in the Italians’ sympathies and they are not quite so enthusiastic about
the Revolution.
1794 ends with a Naval Battle which the Brits win comfortably.
Summary: Everything seems to be going smoothly so far
– most importantly the victory in Germany means Prussia are still onside.
1795-1796
Napoleon appears on the scene with his beautiful and
fascinating Creole wife Josephine.
Minor wars in Switzerland and Haiti. Coalition manages to
lose the Swiss War despite some considerable expenditure, but just scrapes a
victory in Haiti which is a good one to win.
There are battles in Spain and Italy which both result in
defeats for the Coalition. Germany once again gives us a victory however, aided
by the fact that the main target (‘butt’) nation changes from Germany to France
which means Napoleon goes off there with his army instead.
Among the random accidents this turn the Barbary Pirates lead
the RN a merry dance which makes it more vulnerable to naval defeat, Yellow
Fever in Spain denies the French use of their Spanish allies, the French
attitude to religion mellows and the Italian scientist Alessandro Volta decides
he has had quite enough of the French and throws his lot in with the Allies.
Summary: We are still unable to beat the French in
three nations in one turn – that is going to be a major challenge – but another
victory in Germany keeps Prussia in the field, which is key.
1797-1798
Russia abandons its neutrality but due to terrible diplomacy
rolls the Allies are unable to entice her to join the Coalition. Meanwhile a
war in Senegal goes badly despite the Allies throwing a good deal of money at
it.
Much worse is to come.
There are battles in Italy, Austria and Germany.
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| We might get something out of this one... |
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| This one, not so much. |
Italy
yields a convincing Coalition victory but there are overwhelming defeats in
Germany and Austria which knocks both of our German allies out of the war!
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| uh-oh... |
Summary: A negative reaction in France to the ongoing Terror and another victory in a late naval battle is no consolation for the fact that Prussia and Austria have surrendered and the coalition has collapsed!
1799
A war in Egypt keeps Boney busy for the turn, and what’s more
we win it. Ha ha, sucked in, Bonaparte.
We also manage to get Austria back into the fight with a bit
of money and a bit of plain begging.
But the rot has set in now. The Coalition win a battle in
Italy but the French effortlessly batter Austria into surrender again.
Meanwhile more disastrous die rolls mean we have been unable
to bring the Prussians or Russians onside and the Barbary Pirates continue to
distract the RN from its French enemies.
Summary: Bad times for the anti-French alliance, even
without Napoleon being available to push us around in Europe. The die rolls are
relentless. The same die that continually rolls 1s and 2s to enable French
Cavalry Corps to move from nation to nation turns to rolling 5s and 6s when we
are trying to oust French diplomats from Germany!
1800-1804
Britain concludes the Peace of Amiens with France so there
is little fighting this turn. The perfidious Bavarians join the French
alliance. Austria is game to have another go but with no other forces except
the weak ‘Duchy’ units the result is predictable and the battles in Austria and
Germany scarcely bother the French hegemony of Europe.
1805
Those French, they just can’t help themselves. With no other
enemies on the European mainland they engineer a war in the Balkans between the
Russians and the Ottomans that the Russians win, which is potentially good for
the Allies in the long run.
More serious though is a battle fought at Cape Trafalgar
which, contrary to all expectations, the RN narrowly loses! Lord Nelson is
killed and the French immediately invade Britain. A victory would end the game
immediately with a French win, but the British manage to inflict a costly
defeat on the invaders, wiping out three corps. But the French Navy rules the
waves and the situation is grim.
Better news in Germany with an unexpected victory over small
French occupying forces and the prospect of Prussia rejoining the war. Late
1805 sees a naval victory that reverses some of the worst effects of Trafalgar
and restores the RN to its former position of superiority.
Summary: Britain has survived an invasion attempt and
an unexpected defeat at Trafalgar has been largely redeemed by two subsequent
unexpected victories. But the Allies are on the ropes, not least due to some
truly catastrophic die rolls.
And here, for now, the game ends. It’s a clever and
enjoyable little game which to an extent captures the gist of the Napoleonic wars.
To have a hope of beating Napoleon the British need to get Austrian, Prussian
and Russian boots on the ground, which requires sound financial management,
diplomatic success (which also costs money) and luck, and they also need to
keep spending on the RN high enough to win any naval battles that might occur –
losing the big one at Trafalgar particularly is a body blow. Land battles can seem
pointless – the French can often pile in enough troops to make the result a
foregone conclusion – or bizarre – the retreat/pursuit rules can lead to armies
chasing each other from nation to nation around Europe – but where the forces
are evenly matched it can be an interesting contest. The randomness is high
enough that I suspect there is a good replayability factor, and I suspect also
that if I stick to this game there will be future events that will likely turn
the tide for the beleaguered Coalition. Not bad at all for a light solo gaming
experience.
It might be argued that the last thing the internet needs is another wargaming blog, especially one that from the off makes no claims in the way of wit, erudition or insight. I follow numerous such blogs (see sidebar) written by witty, clever and insightful people and I am afraid mine will often seem a bit lightweight by comparison.
So what do I think I am bringing to the party? Well, firstly, there’s a lot to be said for a bit of raw passion, and I have that in spades. My History tutor at University recently referred to me, at a reunion attended by my elder brother, as his benchmark in terms of sheer passion for my subject – though I noted that he didn’t then extend that benchmark to my actual academic ability!
Ever since I was pushing Airfix soldiers around in the 1970s making
dakka-dakka-dakka noises I had a perfect passion for the hobby of ‘playing with
soldiers’. When I saw the classic Sergei Bondarchuk/Dino de Laurentiis film Waterloo
on TV on Christmas Day 1976 at the age of 12 I had that sudden Damascene moment,
my passion became an obsession and wargaming and military history have been
close to the core of my being ever since.
Secondly, unlike most of the blogs I follow I am not planning to include very much about miniatures wargaming.
I was a miniatures gamer
back in the day and I have more recently amassed some of the very fine 28mm
plastic/metal Napoleonics produced by the Perry brothers; I have even used them
to fight a skirmish with the venerable Bruce Quarrie rules, and I will
certainly have more to say about them from time to time. But sadly I find that
unlike many of my fellow bloggers I rarely have the time or space to set up a
miniatures battle, and in any case my more recent experience is less with
miniatures and more with board wargames. I think there are fewer blogs devoted
to the board wargame than to its miniatures brother (some might argue that the
distinction between the two is becoming ever hazier but that is a discussion
for another time) While there is nothing to beat the visual spectacle of
painted figures on a realistic battlefield, the ever expanding world of board
wargames, to me, arguably offers a richer variety of gaming experiences. I understand that will not be a popular viewpoint and I do not in any way mean to belittle the pleasure of fighting battles with figures. But it seems to me that the
broad categories of hex-and-counter, card-driven, block and other wargames that come out of a box or ziplock bag have spawned
infinite variations and one can easily now game almost any conflict at almost
any level using a dizzying array of design techniques, some strikingly bold and imaginative, to seek that holy grail
of perfect immersive game or simulation.
Mostly though, I am allowing this blog to be somewhat lighthearted
and leftfield, and this is where the element of whimsy comes in. Here I must
give a nod to Keith Flint of KeefsBlog who mentions whimsy as a wargaming
element in his Why we Wargame post and who I hope will not mind me referencing his blog here.
The name of the blog itself reflects an old piece of whimsy
and requires some explanation:
The first wargames I ever played were the four battles from
the old SPI Napoleon at War quadrigame in the 1970’s. The battles were
Marengo, Jena, Wagram and Leipzig and each had its own distinct challenges and
flaws (the extent to which those old Kevin Zucker designs reflected the ‘reality’
of a Napoleonic battle will certainly be examined in a later post). One of the things about the Wagram game that always tickled us was a
typo on the St Cyr counter (for fellow Napoleonic obsessives, this was General Claude
Carra Saint-Cyr as opposed to the future Marshal) that replaced the infantry
figure’s legs with what appears to be a wheel
My elder brother, who was also my invariable gaming buddy, and I used to make great play of St Cyr’s wheels, making squeaking noises when the general moved around the battlefield and making oiling motions to avoid alerting the Austrians on the Russbach Heights.
Just don't leave him at the top of a hill
When you are a young (and very likely on the spectrum) Napoleon obsessive
it is easy to allow a joyless rigidity to permeate your games. When everything
has to be just so, there is very little room for whimsy or humour. As well as the SPI
games we used to play with an army of 1815-era minifigs I had collected, using
the old Bruce Quarrie rules as outlined in the Airfix Magazine Guide. My
leaders were always real French Marshals – Ney, Murat and the like – whereas my
brother, being less into history and more into fantasy, chose for himself a
fictional general who he named Mon Lod Glaze. I was infuriated at this, and
still more so every time I lost a battle (which was nearly always) and
was told that Mon Lod Glaze was making my French prisoners walk around in
heavy lead diving boots with peanuts up their noses (it’s a long story!). But I
warmed to Mon Lod in spite of his fictional status and what surely must have
counted as war crimes; and when I finally beat him it was saddening to have to consign
such an interesting foe to an eternity of heavy lead diving boots and peanuts.
Those early battles with wheeled generals, diving boots and
peanuts has I think enabled a very inflexible wargaming lad to grow into
someone more comfortable with other game types from the ahistorical to the
plain bizarre, from Starship Troopers to Dungeons and Dragons and beyond, so it
will not be unusual for curiosities or non-wargames to make an appearance here.
I hope, at least, it will provide entertainment, stir some memories and even,
who knows, occasionally impart some knowledge.
And as an afterthought…
In the wake of the recent death of Christopher Plummer the
old Waterloo fan in me was frustrated to see so many references in the
obituaries to the less than convincingly martial Captain von Trapp and so few (i.e. none)
to the Duke of Wellington. Plummer himself apparently referred to the Sound of
Music as the Sound of Mucus so it’s not entirely unreasonable to believe
that he saw his dual with Rod Steiger’s Napoleon as a higher career point. Is it?